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By being in a hurry, we actually thwart our own success.


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We get ahead of ourselves. We make more mistakes.

We cut corners and pay for them later. We may learn the easy way but not necessarily the best way. The old adage puts it like this: the slower you go, the sooner you get there. Slow, disciplined, incremental growth is the kind of approach that leads to lasting change. Practice Gratitude. It is easy to count our troubles rather than our blessings, but such an attitude undermines our ability to draw from the good that we have been given and to see our lives fundamentally as a gift.

A change in perspective can make all the difference. Recognizing the good and receiving it with gratitude is a recipe for emotional health and well-being. This attitude enlarges the possibility that we can make use of the good we have been given and even use it to cope with the difficulties that we inevitably have inherited.

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Often we find our feelings scary, heavy, and confusing, so we try to keep them at a distance. But we need our feelings in order to find satisfaction, meaning, and pleasure in life. Getting rid of feelings not only backfires but it also drains us of the psychological energy that makes life worth living. Feelings are the gas in the engine of our personalities. They are the source of motivation.

Here’s Exactly What to do When Facing Adversity

They are the energy, the vitality, the juice of life. Without our feelings, nothing would really matter. We are all learning. No one gets it right every time. A more compassionate attitude toward ourselves only helps us to stay in the game. The dynamic process of life—trying, succeeding, failing, and trying again—is the only way to develop lasting confidence in ourselves. We learn through experience that we can both succeed and recover from failure. We also learn to be humble and so develop a view of ourselves as limited creatures that will always need the help and support of others.

Tend to Your Loving Relationships. It is easy to neglect what matters the most: our relationships with those we love. Mature love—whether in marriage , family relationships, or friendships—is a dynamic, living experience. It is something you choose every day. It is something that is earned every day. It requires commitment to keep it working. It involves a daily process of overcoming the distance and honoring the separateness between us.

It accepts the reality that we will hurt one another and be hurt by one another. It is the nature of being human. These pains cannot be avoided. We can only devote ourselves to do what we can do to weather them and to mend them. Creating a plan requires that you think through all the issues logically and identify all the relevant issues and constraints. Find similarities. This is like pattern recognition. I love doing this.

Finding Your Positives

Whenever you are faced with a problem, ask yourself whether this problem shares the same characteristics as something else you may have solved. Often, problems mask themselves within their context but the root issue is the same. If you find you have a problem which shares the same characteristics as something else, you may be able to leverage the solution you have applied to that other problem.

I find this is most useful in conjunction with the previous tip. Mistakes happen.

Problem solving and making mistakes often go hand-in-hand. Sometimes in order to find the best solution to a given problem, we have to go through a hundred bad solutions first. Thomas Edison was a master of this process. For every invention he developed, he made a thousand tries at things that did not work. The most important thing here is to remember that mistakes are okay. Use the mistakes as stepping stones to get to the desired solution. If you have gone through a hundred options to no avail, you have found a hundred ways not to do something rather than one hundred failures.

Keep emotions in check. Emotions or stress can sometimes affect our thinking and judgment. Do not let these cloud your mind. In most cases, problems are best dealt with logically. Try adopting a rational mindset and let your mind govern your actions. In your mind, go through what the problem is and then identify the steps which are required to resolve the situation before taking action.

Part 2: Facing Your Biggest Life Challenges - 8 Steps to Recovery

If you find you are too emotionally charged, pause for a moment and let yourself calm down first. Step back from the challenge and maybe give it another day. Focus on the end game. This is like visualizing the solution. Remember those tracing games someone would give you when you were younger Problem solving is about getting from one state to another state. This is known as traversing the solution path. Sometimes getting from the start state to the end state is not as immediately obvious as seeing how the end state can come from the start state.

In many ways, this is like navigating using a map — we can either trace a path from where we are to where we want to go or we can start from the destination and work backwards. In many cases, I find it is useful to focus on the end state and then work backwards.

How to Face a Challenge With Confidence | The Chopra Center

As I get to familiar territory, I can then relate the solution to the path. Take notes and record your progress. This was not one of my strengths; however, I forced myself to get notebooks and to take notes. With a computer today, I now do it with my keyboard and store my thoughts in documents.

Keep a diary. You may find months later an offhand note you made can be the breakthrough you are looking for. It may not be immediately obvious at the time, so record your progress and ensure you can trace back to the things you have tried and what the results were. Challenge your assumptions. As you progress, be mindful of the answers you have obtained and assumptions you have made. I tend to jump to conclusions too fast.

Slow down. We all make assumptions to try and hasten our progress. You do not want to develop or depend on a solution made upon incorrect answers and assumptions. Only with rigorous testing can you be sure your solution meets the initial requirements. If you don't find success, start over. Problems and obstacles are not always solved on the first pass, or second or third pass. This is a lot like college transfer. It is a difficult challenge to address from my vantage point. Multiple iterations may be necessary in solving any problem. Testing solutions will often reveal gaps and issues not addressed through review and from various perspectives.

You can step back and restart any steps previously mentioned. Solutions can evolve and improve. Be honest and realistic. One of the key risks we have in problem solving is believing in a solution more than the facts reveal. There are judgments to be made based upon the information you have at hand or you can readily discover. We need to be honest with ourselves and ideas. We often have a highly self-centered view on the world, leading us to think of all the bad ways a problem could affect us.

But if you think of the problem as a separate entity, unrelated to you, you'll do a better job of tempering your emotions and thinking about the problem objectively. One helpful strategy to do this is to describe the problem as if it were happening to a friend: "Bob has a flat tire. He needs to pull off to the side of the road and either put on a spare or call a towing company. Your next step is to isolate the real threats and consequences of a problem from your exaggerated or imaginary ones. Doing so will help you shift your focus from seeing the problem as a burden or as a destructive force to seeing the problem as a neutral force that allows you to take action.

Whenever you face a problem, make a physical or mental list of all the significant negative consequences it will have. Solidifying a comprehensive list will typically illustrate that your problem is not as destructive as it seemed on the surface; our brains are wired to imagine worst-case scenarios and exaggerate potential threats so we can over-prepare rather than under-prepare.

In the modern world, this evolutionary programming is less helpful. Finally, you'll need to train your brain to think of your response to a given problem as an improvement, rather than a blind reaction. For example, in the flat tire incident, it's easy to think "I have a flat tire. Now I have to fix it.

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Instead, try to think of current and future improvements: "I have a flat tire. This will give me a chance to use my spare. I should buy tire sealant to have on hand in case this happens again.