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Daily Marriage Tip

What is more reassuring for the couple than being surrounded by the people who love them and who will give them ongoing support? What is more meaningful than reciting wedding vows handed down by Christian tradition? What is more awe inspiring than a rite through which you enter a spiritual reality where God unites you as husband and wife and gives you an important mission? The focal point of any wedding ceremony is the exchange of vows. The vows are not simply a ritual that defines the relationship of two people in love. They are much more.

They are a sacred pact through which the spouses embrace each other and, together, embrace Christ as their partner. The pledge they make is unbreakable because through their union with Christ they participate in the unbreakable pact between God and humanity: the covenant that was sealed in the death and resurrection of Jesus. A permanent commitment is an inherent attribute of the marital relationship. All couples who marry want their marriage to last a lifetime.

Researchers tell us that the presence of an irrevocable commitment contributes to the happiness of the spouses. But married life is difficult and today many couples find it hard to keep their promises. Many young people have grown up experiencing the pain of divorce.

Why Marry?

While wanting to marry, they find it hard to believe that marriages can last a lifetime. They are afraid to commit. Couples of faith are more successful and satisfied in marriage not because they have fewer problems than anyone else. He was present when we were newlyweds, when we had young children, and he is present now that we are empty nesters.

He gives us strength in the tough times and celebrates with us the good times. Her care and patience are gifts I do not deserve. They are grace. I know I can turn to God and find the courage I need to carry on. We hear a reading that speaks right to us. We look at each other and smirk because we know that God has touched our stubbornness.

This is grace.

Why People Marry

He is always with you to transform your weakness into strength. Marriage in the Catholic Church is attractive not only because of its meaningful rituals and traditions, but because of its impact on your life and happiness. Couples can fully appreciate its value they look at married life through the eyes of faith. Then you will see your wedding not as a one-day event but as the door to a great adventure that will last the rest of your life, a journey that involves not just you and your spouse but one that includes God, your children, your community and all of society.

Marriage is not an isolated relationship. The family based on marriage is the fundamental cell of human society. When you are ready to make your commitment, speak to your pastor and ask for his guidance on preparing for such a noble vocation. Every marriage has challenges. The good news is there are many dedicated staff willing to work with you and your spouse For Your Marriage is here to support you!

Marriage Unique for a Reason. Throughout www. USCCB assumes no responsibility for these websites, their content, or their sponsoring organizations. All rights reserved. Skip to content. Toggle navigation MENU. Marriage is a powerful creator and sustainer of human and social capital for adults as well as children, about as important as education when it comes to promoting the health, wealth, and well-being of adults and communities.

For most Americans, this is news. These are important considerations to be sure. Parents surely should be willing to make appropriate sacrifices for their kids' sake. But framing the marriage debate solely in those terms obscures as much as it reveals.

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It misses the profound benefits that lasting marriage confers on adults. And it overestimates considerably the likelihood that divorce will, in fact, lead to greater happiness for the individual.

The PROS vs CONS of Marriage

R ecently, I had the opportunity to review the scientific evidence on the consequences of marriage for adults with University of Chicago scholar Linda J. Waite for our new book, The Case for Marriage. What I found surprised me. Quietly, with little fanfare, a broad and deep body of scientific literature has been accumulating that affirms what Genesis teaches: it is not good for man to be alone—no, nor woman neither.

In virtually every way that social scientists can measure, married people do much better than the unmarried or divorced: they live longer, healthier, happier, sexier, and more affluent lives. How big a difference does marriage make? If David Letterman were to compile a Top Ten list for marriage, it might look something like this:.

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Marriage lowers the risk that both men and women will become victims of violence, including domestic violence. A Justice Department report, based on the National Crime Victimization Survey, found that single and divorced women were four to five times more likely to be victims of violence in any given year than wives; bachelors were four times more likely to be violent-crime victims than husbands. Two-thirds of acts of violence against women committed by intimate partners were not committed by husbands but by boyfriends whether live-in or not or former husbands or boyfriends.

As one scholar sums up the relevant research: "Regardless of methodology, the studies yielded similar results: cohabitors engage in more violence than spouses. She found that, even after controlling for education, race, age, and gender, people who live together are still three times more likely to say their arguments got physical such as kicking, hitting, or shoving in the past year than married couples. Married people live longer and healthier lives. The power of marriage is particularly evident in late middle age. When Linda Waite and a colleague, for example, analyzed mortality differentials in a very large, nationally representative sample, they found an astonishingly large "marriage gap" in longevity: nine out of ten married guys who are alive at 48 will make it to age 65, compared with just six in ten comparable single guys controlling for race, education, and income.

For women, the protective benefits of marriage are also powerful, though not quite as large. Nine out of ten wives alive at age 48 will live to be senior citizens, compared with just eight out of ten divorced and single women. In fact, according to statisticians Bernard Cohen and I-Sing Lee, who compiled a catalog of relative mortality risks, "being unmarried is one of the greatest risks that people voluntarily subject themselves to. This is not just a selection effect: even controlling for initial health status, sick people who are married live longer than their unmarried counterparts.

Having a spouse, for example, lowers a cancer patient's risk of dying from the disease as much as being in an age category ten years younger. A recent study of outcomes for surgical patients found that just being married lowered a patient's risk of dying in the hospital. For perhaps more obvious reasons, the risk a hospital patient will be discharged to a nursing home was two and a half times greater if the patient was unmarried.

Scientists who have studied immune functioning in the laboratory find that happily married couples have better-functioning immune systems. Divorced people, even years after the divorce, show much lower levels of immune function. Children lead healthier, longer lives if parents get and stay married. Adults who fret about second-hand smoke and drunk driving would do well to focus at least some of their attention on this point. In one long-term study that followed a sample of highly advantaged children middle-class whites with IQs of at least up through their seventies, a parent's divorce knocked four years off the adult child's life expectancy.

Forty-year-olds from divorced homes were three times more likely to die from all causes than year-olds whose parents stayed married. Men today tend to think of marriage as a consumption item—a financial burden. But a broad and deep body of scientific literature suggests that for men especially, marriage is a productive institution—as important as education in boosting a man's earnings. In fact, getting a wife may increase an American male's salary by about as much as a college education.

So…Why Do People Get Married, Anyway?

Married men make, by some estimates, as much as 40 percent more money than comparable single guys, even after controlling for education and job history. The longer a man stays married, the higher the marriage premium he receives. Wives' earnings also benefit from marriage, but they decline when motherhood enters the picture. Childless white wives get a marriage wage premium of 4 percent, and black wives earn 10 percent more than comparable single women. Married people not only make more money, they manage money better and build more wealth together than either would alone.

At identical income levels, for example, married people are less likely to report "economic hardship" or trouble paying basic bills. The longer you stay married, the more assets you build; by contrast, length of cohabitation has no relationship to wealth accumulation. Couples who stayed married in one study saw their assets increase twice as fast as those who had remained divorced over a five-year period.

Marriage increases sexual fidelity.

Cohabiting men are four times more likely to cheat than husbands, and cohabiting women are eight times more likely to cheat than wives. Marriage is also the only realistic promise of permanence in a romantic relationship. Just one out of ten cohabiting couples are still cohabiting after five years. By contrast, 80 percent of couples marrying for the first time are still married five years later, and close to 60 percent if current divorce rates continue will marry for life.

One British study found that biological parents who marry are three times more likely still to be together two years later than biological two-parent families who cohabit, even after controlling for maternal age, education, economic hardship, previous relationship failure, depression, and relationship quality. Marriage may be riskier than it once was, but when it comes to making love last, there is still no better bet.

Marriage is good for your mental health. Married men and women are less depressed, less anxious, and less psychologically distressed than single, divorced, or widowed Americans. By contrast, getting divorced lowers both men's and women's mental health, increasing depression and hostility, and lowering one's self-esteem and sense of personal mastery and purpose in life.

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And this is not just a statistical illusion: careful researchers who have tracked individuals as they move toward marriage find that it is not just that happy, healthy people marry; instead, getting married gives individuals a powerful mental health boost. Nadine Marks and James Lambert looked at changes in the psychological health of a large sample of Americans in the late eighties and early nineties. They measured psychological well-being at the outset and then watched what happened to individuals over the next years as they married, remained single, or divorced.

7 Reasons Not to Marry - For Your Marriage

When people married, their mental health improved—consistently and substantially. When people divorced, they suffered substantial deterioration in mental and emotional well-being, including increases in depression and declines in reported happiness. Those who divorced over this period also reported a lower sense of personal mastery, less positive relations with others, less sense of purpose in life, and lower levels of self-acceptance than their married peers did. Married men are only half as likely as bachelors and one-third as likely as divorced guys to take their own lives.

Wives are also much less likely to commit suicide than single, divorced, or widowed women.